Feeling some kinda way...

I’m feeling some kinda way about Lesbians these days. Nothing bad, just got questions. On one side are the women that date and on the other side are the women that want that serious relationship. The daters take things “slow”, plan activities, feel you up a little…lol, have conversation, and genuinely try to get the know you, the person. Them relationship lesbians want to wife you IMMEDIATELY…lol… no seriously…they want to be with you every day, meet your mom, TODAY, they assume they know everything about you after just one conversation and my all time favorite, “we should live together”…pump ya brakes.
There is nothing wrong with good ol’ fashion love. Both sides of the spectrum have pros and cons, but dam, why is it that lesbian relationships move at super warp speed. Why do women have to satisfy the id and the ego all in one breath? It is too easy. You meet a women the two of you click…the conversation is good, the panties are wet…the romantic date was memorable, sex is a given…and if the sex is good, not just the first time but the second time and the third time, then hell, guess what? you have left dating and are now headed for relationship…its only been 30 days!!…lol
So, now you find yourself in the wonderful, blissful state of mind…everything is butterflies and chocolate kisses. Then, BAM, the L-word pops up, no, not on your flat screen, but in one of your many, deep conversations…oops. Once love has sprung a leak the relationship takes on a whole new meaning. Now, you have pressure, doubt, obligation and, the hidden gem, assumption. Not to mention the profound opinions of your mom and close friends…60 days and counting.
My, how time flies when you have new love. It feels wonderful to have met someone who gets you, listens to you and makes you laugh…oh and sexes you like no other… Is she the one? Can you spend the rest of your life with this chick? As you approach the 90th day (probationary period) some of that bliss starts to wear off…you have the thing that most, if not all, lesbians dread the most…an argument…a BIG argument. It could be about anything…pulling the cover in your sleep, not liking the TV show she is watching, texting your BFF at 9:30pm…lol…or why you haven’t had sex all week!
What’s really going on? At this time, at this moment we are ready to jump ship and…ding, ding, ding…call it quits. If it’s the right person it should be worth it…right?....hell it’s only been 90 days…lol…Get over the dumb shit and be with yo woman! Mobilize the things that a good relationship needs to grow…SEX, honesty, trust and most of all C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N. Lesbians get so wrapped up in the love that we forget that we need to talk about shit and because of that, there is a break down. We should be able to step “outside” of ourselves and see what we are bringing to the relationship…positive and negative…it takes time…but 2 years later (or 2 months...lol) you might be having a commitment ceremony instead of a murder trial. Dating sucks I say go for the gusto…lol

The backlash...The claws came out...

"I went to McDonalds, because I am trying to budget, until I get paid on the 31st!!!!!!!"

"Everyone can't afford to eat Chipotle and P.F. Chang everyday like you!!!!!!!!!"

"lol.... just finished reading the new blog entry.... very interesting observations...discuss... "

"Just thinking about my “so called” friendships and trying to get a better understanding about my role, if any. "

"think it just a slight misunderstanding... outside view of the situation... "

"I do think we should have a group discussion about this. I have to say that I do think you may be a little over sensitive. I’m still the same old person that I was before. The only difference is that we don’t see each other everyday because we don’t work together. You seem to have forgotten about the times that we have invited you to places but you could not come. I know when people get into relationships, they seem to distance themselves from other people. I don’t feel like you did that, but I do feel like that’s the person that you are going to spend the majority of your time with. When things are good with them, you may forget about the way you and your friends are communicating, but when things are not as good as you may want them to be, you may remember the communication that you and your friends used to have. NO shade, just a different situation. ……. To be continued. Gotta go to the bathroom. "

"I'm speechless right now, I am sorry if I upset you. We do have history, but whenever we try to get you to hang out, you always tied up with BG."

"WHATEVER, that is so untrue, when we hang she is there,"

"It is D, no majority of the time, you always say well me and BG got this planned."

"plans are plans when you have planned stuff I dont expect you to stop drop and be with me"

"I also think that we all are going through some changes and are dealing with things in our own way as well. I agree with you about us not have talking for a while. I can say that we have not talked since you have left home depot. "

""Absolutely, however, not all relationships effect friendships. B and I have no problem keeping in touch and making TIME to hang. YOU however have been quote unquote distant since the week before the cabin trip and far worse since you came back. Q, well, there are no words for the McDonalds incident… I expect more from you 2 than I do G or G or B…You two are in my speed dial…"

"Child……ok lets talk about it. since I have became your friend. I can look at my phone bill and say that we have never really talked on the phone. I could see if we have talked on the phone daily or even weekly for that. And I don’t think that we got distance before the cabin trip at all. And to be honest, I have kept to myself since I came back because I have been working hard and dealing with family issues."

"Ok talk about it…Check home depot phone records and ur texts record…I completely understand your family issues I USED TO HEAR ABOUT THEM"

"I’m talking about before you left homedepot"

"I guess I was being a little sensitive, for absolutely no reason. Perhaps there was never really a “friendship” at all. I was mistaken and therefore, I over stepped. Let me excuse myself. Good day."

"This is the first thing that I always ask people to look at when they say someone is not doing something. If someone says that you have not talked to them in a while, ask yourself when was the last time you called them? If someone says that you are not a good friend, ask yourself, when was the last time I did something for that person? This is valuable information people. I cherish all my friends. Energy. "

"Energy please…like I said…I nurtured and fertilized…and like I just said, I was mistaking this as friendship. I digress..Deuces"

" So I ask you, since you feel that I’m such a bad friend and you fertilized, tell me what you have done exactly that I have not?"

" K.I.T"

"think this is a good time for everyone to sing "because you loved me" by Celine Dion....on three" (Cyrus you a fool...lol)

Understanding...Philings...

Is is hard for Lesbians and Gay men to have close friendships or am I being sensitive?

Where to begin?

People that know me know that I have several guys friends that are "fam". Over the last year I have grown very close to and love a few. I felt as though I had learned what friendship means. We have shared some good times, some tears and some break ups. Lately,however, I feel as though my "love" has been in vain. I have kinda felt like I have been doing more of the nurturing and fertilizing of the friendships (except with BFree, smooches). I kinda feel like I have been kicked to the curb. Now, don't misunderstand, a few of the guys I don't kick it with often, we talk when we need to, we love when we are together. Two of my boyz (let me just put it out there) seem to have forgotten my existence. They don't call, email or text like they used to. They have time to hang with each other, but hardly with me. Yesterday, I found my philings hurt, which is quite surprising cuz I am quite the little gansta...lol.
To start, I ask my "friend", OF MANY YEARS, what was going on for lunch (he eats out almost everyday and usually with our other friend) and to let me know. At 5mins til lunch time he announces that he is going to MCDONALDS!!! I was fucking floored...WTF!! Do I look like a 6 year old?? Why we can't go to the mall, PF Chang or Chipotle!? Ok, Flag on the play, 5 yard penalty...

My other little buddy I had to go spend some money (and enjoy a tasty dessert) just to be in his company..."hey, how are you?" "How's work?" " How can I get back on the email chain?" Hell, when did I get bumped off that bitch, for that matter?!? This is how I got my Philings hurt for the 2nd time yesterday...Wait for it, wait for it... " Oh, can you send me an email, your email address got erased?" Really? Fumble...

Maybe its me... maybe I am taking it way too personal...maybe I am being a sensitive ass female... Maybe, just maybe I have to have a fuckable penis to be in THAT club.

~A Different Me~ (so cliche')

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday (bah humbug) Reflecting on the last year I
wonder; What will be different over the next year? A lot has
happened in my world over the last year. My children have grown
and my relationship with them has grown... a "serious" relationship failed, for the better....and new possibilities are blooming.Instead of being stuck in limbo wondering what to do or how to go on I'm thinking about how to prosper and how to make my children's lives a little easier....I am also thinking about love and what I had/have been missing while being wrapped up, trapped, settled in a dead end relationship. The more I think about where I was, the angrier I get with myself because I should have and could have let go a LONG time ago...I was settling. She didn't touch me, caress me, kiss me, sex me, desire me or trust me...and I was going to settle.

I had absolutely no reason to stay...When I think about it...it was dam near a mentally abusive relationship. I took care of her when she lost her job and supported her when she was depressed. I cheered for her when she found a job. I cooked,cleaned and petted. It was like I had 3 children. I did it and I did it because I wanted to because I was in love... She never initiated sex, never wanted sex and would blame me for the reason why we didn't have sex. I coped with and suppressed my need and desire for sex and it changed me... When she would get mad at me for dumb shit I would take the charge and beg for her forgiveness, even when I didn't feel I had done anything wrong. I stayed faithful because I was committed to the relationship and I never wanted to hurt her.

The bitch mojo was off the chain!!!!!!!...I was pussy whipped off
pussy I was hardly ever getting. Comfort is a bitch...lol

Thank you Dee for not fucking me because BG is the best fuck
EVER!!!!!!