October 30, 2008

Thoughts about the breakup...

I received a special request today...He said " Mable, you should start another blog, I would really like to read what you think about OTHER things." I thought about it for a couple of hours and have decided to give it a try... After all weight loss is not the only thing that affects a Lifestyle change, feelings and emotions do too.

I am beginning this by saying, I like to write, but i don't ever know what to or where to begin...I love poetry but I don't want to write it...I want to be informative and opinionative...lol...inside joke with myself...

Anyway, my relationship of 2 years has ended...I am on the road to a greater state of mind and sound judgement. It was a very hard and complex relationship...we were very good friends but not very good at the loving... She was in love with me and I was in love with her but the actions behind the love were absent...when the end came we both knew it was The End...I have no regret or hard feelings...just fear thatall fututre relationships will be like that one and a lot of sexual supression. She is a very beautiful person, but has quite of bit of self discovery ahead of her. I wish her the best. She, however, feels as though I am to happy too soon...Meaning, I am not crying, I am not trying to get her back, I smile everyday, hang out and basically, it has been business as usual. Well, it IS business as usual. I am a big girl, we grew apart long before the relationship ended, so by the time the end finally came there was no reason to cry.

For some apparent reason, because I am at peace and in an adult frame of mind, she thinks that I have moved on too easily or the I am seeing someone else...LOL... Why do people assume that because THEY are sad and crying we should ALL be sad and crying...I don't need to have someone else fucked up in my life in order to smile and thank God for my blessings. I am alive healthy and in a totally different place than I was when we met. I used to feel incomplete, unless I had someone else to hold...well now that's what pillows are for and I have 4...lol...


"Yes I was burned but I call it a lesson learned" " My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned"..best song AK has on her most recent album.